annoyed

So, I'm sitting in the babies' room, trying to wait them out until they fall asleep. It's not working. They're still awake. And I'm pretty darn annoyed.

See, Abigail has started having trouble settling at bedtime. It might be the light, it might be that she's just being obnoxious (I know...not nice, but I'm kinda annoyed). Here's just a sample of how she's been lately:

No, I won't lay down for songs.
No, I want my blanket laid this way.
No, I won't lay back down even though that's the only way you'll tuck me, Mommy.
No, I want my blanket this way.
No, I'll stand up and scream, thank you very much.

And then tonight there was a new addition:

Oh, I figured out how to hook my leg over my crib and I got out. And freaked myself out and freaked my little sister out. But now Mommy will sit with us. Hmmm...that worked out better than expected.


Sigh. I had gotten pulled into her manipulations (unintentional though they may have been) when she first started this behavior and I caught on pretty quickly. So I became 'mean Mommy' and let her cry when she was being a pain (did I mention I'm annoyed?). And she learned that I meant it when I said I was leaving and it worked and she had been doing great at going to sleep after a bit of chatting and/or singing.

But now I've been suckered back into new bedtime drama because of tonight's Great Escape and I'm really po'd about it. I want my evening time. For me. I'm selfish that way right now because my beloved has been gone for 11 days and I'm not enjoying myself much lately. Especially today. It felt like a Garfield-type Monday.

My wonderful son even called me on my grumpiness after dinner. He inadvertently left very few tortellini for me to eat once I got back from a short meeting. He had forgotten I hadn't eaten and helped himself to extra, as a growing boy should. But I was not happy to have so little for dinner. He very lovingly suggested that I might want to try to stay calm instead of giving into my frustration. He's right. But it feels kinda satisfying sometimes to lash out...for a moment. Then it feels yucky. Who knew my oldest could be so sagacious? (Well, I did, if you want to know the truth.)

Now I'm going to attempt to leave this room and hope that Abigail doesn't become unhinged again (I still have no idea what set her off onto tonight's crying jag). I want to watch the Daily Show. Selfish. I know. I can live with that, tonight.